3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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