Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
