he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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