You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
