What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just high enough for therapy.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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