hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
