I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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