And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
