uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
