then he tried to convert me to islam
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
