I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Randomize
