READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
