I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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