My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
its not stalking. its research.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
