I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Randomize
