In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
