can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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