I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize