Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
