at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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