he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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