so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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