Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
