porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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