Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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