he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
