If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
