If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
