whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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