I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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