i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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