You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
