there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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