Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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