This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize