Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
