Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
