One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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