watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Are we still banned from the library?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
