I can't watch pbs sober anymore
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
