last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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