walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
