covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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