Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
