Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
