How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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