let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
