drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
