woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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