do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
