I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
