she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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