just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
