I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
