i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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