Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
