I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
