Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
