On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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