I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
