recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
