You smell like stripper and shame
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's no shave November. This is our time.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
